Why?
by 4everhere
Summary: Why hadn't I told him my feelings earlier? Why did I let it be? If I had said something, I would've been the one he proposed to, not some other girl... why? AMUTO
1. Chapter 1

4everhere: I know I've been gone for a long time and I have my reasons, sorry for all those people who were anticipating my next chapter for my other stories, but I got stuck and I don't think I'll get to them anytime soon. My heart's not in the story anymore, sorry. But let's get over that. I am starting this new story, and this one I REALLY have everything planned. (Reason is that I had a fantasy like this) and I feel strongly for this new story so please read it and I hope you like my new story. I was inspired while reading another story that was similar except this one will be a bit longer and detailed because I'm going to be in the place of Amu and my crush will be in the place of Ikuto. Please bare with me and I hope you enjoy the story! The chapters might be short though but there will be plenty of chapters to make up for it! Now on with the show!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, Ikuto ran away with the rights that bastard...

Chapter 1- Amu's P.O.V

"Amu... Amu..! AMU WAKE UP!" a familiar high voice screeched. I sat up from my laying position instantly, and maybe a little to fast because I started to feel dizzy.

I held onto my head and looked for the source of my rude awakening, and found that it was my devilish best friend with her long pale blonde pig tails and her usual fashion. She was wearing a Black Lollita dress with black knee high leather boots. Her violet eyes were staring a hole into me, I swear if she were staring at a pan with a raw egg in it, that thing would be cooking!

"What is it Utau?" I rubbed my eyes and then realized something. "Wait... how did you get into my house?"

"You left the front door open." Crap not again! This was the third time this week! "Seriously Amu you have to get a hold of yourself! You've been like this for ten days! Ever since..."

"Please Utau, don't bring it up. I don't want to talk about... _him._" That's right, a guy made me like this, and not just any guy, the man I was absolutely sure I wanted to be with for my whole life, even though he was a perverted neko.

"Amu, I know how you feel. My brother is so stupid and dense not to notice you, but as I said before, you got to get a hold of yourself, and take back what is yours! Come on girl, this isn't the stubborn, independent, persistent, impudent, blunt, hard headed-"

"Okay are you complimenting me or are you starting to pick a fight with me?" Utau sighed and grabbed my hand, giving it a little squeeze and looking me straight in the eye, her violet eyes showing immense concern and determination to convince me.

"Amu, do you love Ikuto?"

"... yes, but it's to late."

"It's never to late! Amu fight on! It's like your mom would say!"

I couldn't help but smile at that, we both looked at each other and repeated those memorable words that my mom would always say.

"_If he ain't married, he's still on the market!_" we both said in union with giggle at the end. I felt a bit more cheered up. I gave Utau a genuine smile.

"I'll try." and with that she leaped off my bed and gave a fist pump in the air.

"Alrighty! Oh wait that reminds me," she stopped her happy moment and sat down on my bed. "Exactly what happened that day my brother told you?"

"Oh..." well that just ruined my mood. "Well you see.."

Flashback~~~

I was all ready for today. Ikuto-kun had asked me to meet him at the park to tell me some very important news. I was wearing a red shirt with a black heart imprinted on the front, a black blazer, a blue plaid skirt, with black leggings that had white hearts on them and some red converse. I had put a bit of make-up on and I wore my hair in a French braid.

I'm so happy! I finally get a chance to confess... No he doesn't like me that way... plus he had a girlfriend, but maybe they broke up! I haven't seen her in a while. Oh gosh!

"Earth to Amu... you ready?" Oh he's here! Oh gosh! I hadn't noticed!

"I-Ikuto you're already here?" He chuckled.

"Clearly I am." He pointed at himself standing next to me. His presence seriously just lit up my day. "So are you ready, strawberry?" He gave his, oh so famous smirk. I couldn't help but blush and give him a smile.

"Naturally." And with that we headed out.

We went to a cafe and had a couple of donuts, I was laughing the whole time because Ikuto had a smudge of glaze from his donut on his cheek, and he hadn't realized it until he saw his reflection on the glass window. After that we headed to the arcade and played some good ol' pac man, pin ball, street fighter and air hockey. I lost seven to five. When we finished playing at the arcade we went for a stroll in the park and went to are favorite secret place there, plus before we had gotten to are secret area, he had bought me some chocolate ice cream! Isn't that sweet of him?

We sat at are secret area, somewhere we found when we were kids. It was a cute little area that had a great view of the sunset with a pond right near it and a huge oak tree that was bending down, we used it's huge branch as a seat, and flowers grew everywhere. Only Ikuto and I knew about this quaint little area, it was hidden by trees and many people didn't like coming to this area of the park so it was all to ourselves.

"So Amu... about that important thing I was going to tell you." Ikuto started up. My heart started beating rapidly, but I had to keep it in control.

"Yeah, I remember. What did you have to say?" Then he gave me a smile, and my heart probably missed a beat right there, I was excited and nervous of what was going to be unleashed from those beautiful lips.

"Well you remember Kimiki, right?" He looked a bit nervous, I wonder why.

"Yeah I remember Kimiki, your girlfriend, or am I wrong?" I hope that I was wrong.

"No, she's still my girlfriend, well um... actually my fiancee. Amu, I asked her to marry me." After that I felt like time it self stopped, my heart halted and started digging it's grave deeper into my body. My throat went dry as I felt a lump in it, and right at that moment I wanted to run, I wanted to leave this area where my heart was being buried, but I sucked it up. I couldn't show him that I was weak.

"That's... wow. I'm seriously speechless Ikuto. I have no words to express how I feel." Well that wasn't all a total lie. But I did have various words of how I felt. Abandoned, hurt, anger, frustration, depression, jealousy but the most of all that described me was, broken.

Even though I was emotionally injured I gave Ikuto a smile, a fake one actually because I could never truly smile now that I was broken.

4everhere: Well I hope you liked it! I hope to update next week. I can't on the weekend sadly because, well it's father's day Sunday and my dad has me all to himself for the whole weekend, but I promise once I get back on Monday I will do my best to write another chapter and post it up on Wednesday the latest! :) Please Review! No flames though, I'm a bit rusty!


	2. Chapter 2

4everhere: Thank you guys for the reviews! They encouraged me to continue writing. I was actually starting to get a bit worried that no one would like it! Thank goodness you proved me wrong! :) Anyways, I'm glad you like the story and now I will continue! I'm excited my self! Well okay, on with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, and if you see Ikuto running around with the rights to the show, tell him one of my friends gave me a chain saw and that I want those rights!

Ages- (Hehe, almost forgot about this!)

Amu- 21

Ikuto- 26

Utau- 24

Kukai- 25

Rima- 21

Nagihiko- 25

Kimiki- 23

Chapter 2- Amu's P.O.V

"Oh Amu, you should have confessed anyways!" Utau practically yelled. No sorry she actually did yell. In my ear. **Loud. **"I would have. My dumb brother is really going to pay for this one. How can he not see that there's an awesome girl right near him? I mean your as awesome as Kimiki, way funnier, just as cheerful, and your just great! I don't like Kimiki honestly... and blah blah blah..." I didn't want to listen to Utau continue on and on about it, so I just blocked it off.

_Kimiki..._

Kimiki was my first real friend, ever. I met her a **long** time ago. Before I met Ikuto in second grade. She was my Best friend before I fell for him, and that's why I hadn't confessed. Because I still remember everything I went through with her...

_Flashback~~~~ Normal P.O.V_

_Four year old Amu sat in her backyard, staring at a beautiful bright flower in her hand. It's vibrant pink and yellow colors captivated the young girl as it slowly blossomed right in front of her eyes. The flower petals were a bright pink, just like her hair, and in the core of the flower was a beautiful bright yellow, with specks of black on it._

_She smiled and slowly stroked the beautiful delicate flower's petals. She skipped off to her mother and showed the flower to her, saying "Mommy! Mommy! Look at what I found!"_

_Her mother turned around as she finished speaking on the phone and smiled at her daughter's discovery. "Oh, well look at what we have here! It's a Alstromeria. It's a very beautiful flower, isn't it? Do you know what it means?" Amu's mom asked her._

_Amu shook her head, but a bright twinkle in her eye showed that she was very interested in learning what it meant. Her mom smiled and grabbed her daughter by her tiny waist, lifted her up, and sat her down on her lap._

_"It means Friendship, the long-lasting beauty of commitment and care. When you meet a special friend that you want to have a long-lasting friendship with, give her or him this, and I'm sure you guys will be friends forever." With that, Amu smiled and hugged the flower to her tiny body._

_A week later~~~_

_Amu walked around outside in her neighborhood, her parents were arguing again, and she didn't want to her the horrible words her dad would yell at her mom. Her heart ached as she remembered the language her mom told her not to repeat that her dad shrieked out, and all she wanted was a friend to talk to, but she had no friends. There was no one in her life so far that she could share her feelings with._

_"I shouldn't have to deal with that brat!"_

_"She's your daughter! How could you say that?"_

_She walked off to a small field of grass that wasn't to far from the neighborhood, and there she cried. Her small body shook as her tears ran down her pink cheeks. She couldn't stop them from coming down, no matter how much she wanted them to stop._

_"Are you okay?" a small high-pitched voice asked, which made Amu jump up in fear. She quickly turned to where she heard the voice and spotted a girl. This girl was chunkier than Amu and seemed a bit older. She had short dark raven black hair and hazel eyes, her facial expression gave off concern._

_Amu quickly wiped away her tears and stuttered out ", I'm f-f-fine." The other girl, not believing Amu's words, frowned at her response and walked over while Amu wasn't looking, and when Amu least expected it, the girl hugged her._

_Amu was shocked by what the girl had done. Her tears kept on rolling down her cheeks no matter how many times she tried to stop them._

_"What's wrong?" the girl asked as she hugged Amu , and Amu just broke down._

_"M-my... my d-dad forgot it was m-my birthday... a-and... my m-m-mommy tried to c-celebrate it with m-me, but my d-dad said it was a w-w-waste..." Amu shook again in the girl's arms. Her heart just ached as she repeated those hurtful words._

_The girl pulled back slowly, but not to far from Amu and made eye contact with her. Amu felt that her hazel eyes were looking right into her soul._

_"That's not true. Your dad might say that, but don't you dare believe him." She hugged her again and whispered into Amu's ear. "Today is a special day, it's the day that the heavens brought you into the world for a purpose, and I'm sure glad your here living. Today is your day, and don't let anyone else tell you other wise. Happy Birthday..."_

_"Amu... my name is A-Amu..." Amu barely said, her voice cracking as tears of joy rolled down now, no longer tears of depression. This girl just made her day._

_"Happy Birthday, Amu. It's nice to know that your living. My name is Kimiki." the girl said._

_Kimiki..._

_End of Flash back~~~ Amu's P.O.V_

That's how my friendship started with Kimiki. Kimiki had always been there for me. When the boys would bully me, we would have each others backs. When we needed another opinion on something, we would be there for each other. When one of us got hurt, we would take care of each others wounds. When my dad, or her mom mistreated us we would have a shoulder to cry on. We stuck through thick and thin, and I never once resented her. I had looked up to her. Since she was older than me she acted like a big Sister, and I loved her like she was my actual family. She was the best, and nothing, **nothing **was able to separate us. At least that's what we both thought until the summer of first grade for me...

_Flashback~~~ Normal P.O.V_

_"Your leaving?" Amu asked, her whole face was sunken, her precious smile was turned **way **upside down, as she saw Kimiki's mom pack all their stuff in a huge moving van. "Why didn't you tell me?"_

_Kimiki was now the one who's tear would not stop. "I w-wanted to so b-badly, but m-my m-m-mom wouldn't let m-me see y-you until t-today. I'm s-so s-sorry, A-Amu! I wish I c-could stay but m-my mom says w-we have to l-leave, were moving to A-America..."_

_Amu now was in shock. "Am-America? That far?" Kimiki could only nod. Both their hearts were breaking at that moment when Amu thought of something. "Kimiki wait here, please don't leave until I come back!" And with that, Amu sprinted off leaving a confused Kimiki on the sidewalk._

_Amu ran as fast as her little legs could take her. She ran to her backyard, dismissing her confused mom, and looked for the flower patch they had. Once she had spotted the flower patch she looked through them and found the Alstromeria. She plucked the flower out of the garden, and ran back to Kimiki._

_Once she got there she was out of breath. Kimiki patted her breathless friend on the back, until Amu's lungs had enough oxygen to speak._

_Amu looked right at Kimiki and showed her, her hand with the flower in it. "Take it."_

_Kimiki, confused, did so and smiled at the flower's beauty. "It's so pretty," she said as she stroked the flower, and then with a confused look, glanced back at Amu and asked her ", what is this for?"_

_Amu gave her a smile. "My mommy told me that this flower represents Friendship, the long-lasting beauty of commitment and care. She told me to give it to a friend that I want to have a long friendship with, and I want you to be that friend! I hope when you see this flower over there in America, it will remind you of me."_

_Kimiki, again started tearing up at her friend's words. She gave her a small smile and nodded. "Of course, Amu. Friends forever! I'll come back, I promise." Kimiki said, determined._

_"You better!"_

_End of Flashback~~~_

And with that, she left. She never came back, until my twentieth birthday. She showed up and she looked completely different. She was a lot thinner than she used to be, and was absolutely gorgeous. Her raven black hair was so long it reached her hips, and her hazel eyes shined more than they used to. She grew taller than ever, and her skin was flawlessly white. That day, Kimiki also met Ikuto, and it seemed Ikuto was head over heals for her... It broke my heart...

"Amu... Earth to Amu? Are you even listening to me?" And I came back to reality. Utau's shrieking can do that to a person.

"Huh? What?" I blinked a couple of times then I noticed we weren't in my room, we weren't even in my house anymore. We were in Utau's car.

Hey and when did I change? I was sure I was wearing my pajamas awhile ago, and now I'm wearing a neon green shirt with a bunch of black hearts all over it, some black skinny jeans, and my red converse. I don't even remember fixing my hair into a pony tail! Let alone putting my x-clip on it. These blank outs are starting to worry me...

"Amu You okay? You seem out of it. Is it because were heading over to Ikuto and Kimiki's house?" Utau asked concerned. "I told you we could have just said we couldn't go."

Now it's coming a bit back to me. "Crap... um... no I'm fine. Just thinking to much that I blanked out." And also my heart just went into hyper drive, but I'll be _perfectly _fine.

Utau seemed suspicious, but refrained her self from asking. I'm sure she didn't want to get distracted on the road... like last time. I won't even mention what happened.

The drive to Ikuto and Kimiki's house felt long, but I needed it to collect myself. If I didn't collect myself I'm pretty sure I would break down right then and there, and I don't want to be weak in front of them, ever.

Slowly we made it into Ikuto and Kimiki's drive way and parked there. Their Victorian house was just beautiful. It was a light pale pink and white. I had always wanted to live in a house like theirs. There was a porch that surrounded the house and flower bushes around the porch also. I took a glance around the house, just to see if there was anything else I hadn't seen. It didn't seem like Ikuto was here. Probably working at Easter. Must be hard for a famous violinist.

I got out of the car at the same time Utau did and closed my door. I was already wondering why Kimiki had called us over. Utau and I took small steps towards the door, my heart was pounding of anticipation. Did Kimiki know that I like Ikuto? Was she gonna beat me up? Were pimps going to be in there?

Amu get a hold of yourself! Kimiki isn't that type of girl! I mean she gets frightened just by seeing thugs on the street, so she couldn't be like that... but people do change.

I guess Utau sensed my conflicting emotions because she started patting my back, reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. I just gave her a small smile, hoping not to worry her.

Once we made it to the front door, it flung open. Kimiki stood right there with her big shiny perfect smile. She was wearing a frilly green salmon pink dress with a flower on her hair. Oh did I mention we were total opposites?

Kimiki was the gorgeous girly girl, while I was the punkish- not so girly girl. She wore pink, I wore black. She loved flower prints and vintage, I liked skull prints and retro. She was the optimistic person, and I was the realist. She was very care free, and I was the one who was always over thinking. Get the picture?

"Amu-chan~! Utau-chan~!" She squealed in her high-pitched voice. She hugged Utau and tackled me to the ground in her embrace. "Oh how I missed you guys!" She quickly got up, and helped me of course then ushered us in. "Come on in guys! Take a seat. Excuse the mess~ Ikuto was working on a piece earlier."

"A mess? If this is a mess to you Kimiki, then my room is a disaster." Everything in the room was tidy except for some papers that were scattered around the table. The room was very elegant itself.

Kimiki giggled, and shook her head. "Same old Amu, I'm going to have to come over and help you clean, aren't I? Now sit down, I'll get you girls something to drink."

"No, were fine Kimiki. We just came because you had said you needed to speak with us." Utau said. She didn't want to be here either, I noted, by the sickly sweet tone she used with Kimiki.

Kimiki smiled and sat down on the couch across from us. She dusted off invisible dust off her dress and then glanced up to us. "I have something- well more like a request to ask of you guys and I **really** hope you'll say yes..."

I have another bad feeling about this, and I know I shouldn't ask, but I was curious. "What is your request Kimiki?"

Kimiki tucked a strand of her raven black hair behind her ear, and in a pleading voice asked ", Amu, will you be my Maid-Of-Honor, and Utau will you be a bride's maid?"

4everhere: What did you guys think? Was it good? Wow this was a long chappie. I just got so excited explaining all of this. I'm sorry if there are any grammer errors! As I told you guys before, I'm a bit rusty ^^; Well please review and tell me your thoughts, please no flaming, and your comments mean the world to me, it seriously encourages me to write more! That's why this chapter came out earlier! So here ya go! I will write again soon, I promise!


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